I’ve come to see my Ego as a longtime companion—sometimes a friend, but more often a nemesis. He’s been with me through thick and thin, whispering in my ear, steering me down rough roads, and leaving a trail of regret behind. He’s mouthed off to loved ones and strangers alike. He’s provoked me to dig in my heels, put others on the defensive, and say things I wished I could take back.
Ego is always eager to take offense—and just as quick to give it. He convinces me I’m right even when I’m dead wrong. He tells others they’re wrong with the same certainty. He craves respect but rarely shows respect in return. He nurses grudges over perceived slights, reshaping the story in his favor every time it’s told.
Ego loves to play the victim. He’ll say he’s simply the product of bad luck and misfortune—never his fault, of course. But when there’s praise to be had, Ego demands the spotlight. He delights in self-promotion. Look at me. I’m a good guy. I’m a Christian. I do cool things. My life is better than yours. And his favorite trick? Posting about the failures or flaws of people he disagrees with, all in the name of “truth.”
The funny thing is, Ego has even gotten me physically hurt—sometimes as a stand-in for someone else’s anger, provoked by my own prideful words.
So, I’ve started a practice. And I call it a practice because it’s far from perfect. When something irritates me, or when someone offends me, I pause and ask: Who’s really offended here? Who’s hurt? Is it my true self—John—or is it just Ego taking the hit? And what about the person who “offended” me—was it their true self speaking, or was it their Ego acting out?
The truth is, we often meet the stupidity of others with our own. I’ve done it plenty of times. I used to tell people, as a form of intimidation, “I’ll be as stupid as you need me to be—it’s your choice.” In other words, I was willing to meet Ego with Ego, mano y mano—my pride versus yours. And it always ended badly.
But there’s another way.
Let God into your heart. Let your soul—not your Ego—lead your actions. Before you speak, before you react, ask yourself: Am I seeking admiration from people… or am I seeking to be pleasing to God? Because Ego wants the loud applause of the world, but your soul longs for the quiet approval of Heaven.
When you let your soul, guided by the Spirit, take the lead, Ego begins to lose its grip. You stop needing to win the argument. You stop needing to prove you’re better. You stop needing the last word. And in that surrender, you actually gain freedom—the freedom to love, to forgive, to let go.
As Jesus said in Matthew 16:24-25, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.”
So today, I choose to lose a little bit of my Ego, and in the process, find a little bit more of my true life in Him.
3 Ways to Recognize Ego vs. Soul
Ego reacts, Soul responds.
Ego demands the last word. Soul pauses, listens, and answers with grace.
Ego needs approval, Soul seeks God’s presence.
Ego craves applause. Soul rests in quiet faithfulness.
Ego clings to grudges, Soul releases and forgives.
Ego wants to be right. Soul wants to be whole.
When you feel the heat rising, ask: Is this my Ego speaking… or my Soul listening?
Closing Prayer
Lord, I confess that my Ego often takes the driver’s seat. It feeds my pride, fuels my anger, and blinds me to Your truth. Help me quiet that voice and hear Yours instead. Teach me to respond with humility, patience, and love, even when my flesh wants to fight. May I seek not the approval of man, but the favor of Your eyes alone. Replace my Ego with Your Spirit so that my life reflects Your grace. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
