Hula Hoop

There are a few sayings in recovery that I have come to know as profoundly true. Two in particular continue to challenge me: “Stay inside your hula hoop” and “Keep your side of the street clean.”

Staying inside your hula hoop simply means minding your own business—not inserting yourself into situations that do not belong to you. Keeping your side of the street clean means taking responsibility for your own words, actions, and behavior rather than building resentments over what someone else has said or done.

Both sound simple. For me, they are anything but.

The mind and ego have a powerful need to be heard. They convince us that our opinion is necessary, that something needs to be corrected, or that another person needs to understand our point of view. Before long, we have inserted ourselves into something that had very little to do with us—and suddenly, we are part of the drama.

I still struggle with staying inside my hula hoop because part of me believes people need to hear what I have to say. The illusion of my own self-importance can become almost grotesque at times. Things that are not my business somehow become my business. Situations that do not require my opinion suddenly seem to demand it.

We say in recovery that we cannot control people, places, and things, yet the ego continually tells us otherwise.

And once I step outside my hula hoop, the consequences are usually predictable. I say too much. Someone becomes offended or troubled by my words. I become more forceful. I assert myself. My ego digs in. Then, almost unbelievably, I find myself telling anyone who will listen about how the other person is the problem.

Yet if I am willing to look honestly at myself, I often discover that I helped create the very disturbance I am complaining about.

That is where keeping my side of the street clean becomes so important.

I have to remind myself, sometimes moment by moment, that not everything placed in front of me requires my participation. Not everything said requires my response. Not everything I disagree with requires correction. And not every battle is mine to fight.

There is humility in silence.

There is humility in allowing another person to be who they are.

There is humility in saying, “This does not belong to me,” and returning my attention to my own relationship with God.

Perhaps stepping outside my hula hoop is sometimes more than an issue of ego. Perhaps it is also a subtle form of ingratitude. When I reach beyond what God has placed before me—trying to control another person, another situation, or another outcome—I am acting as though what He has given me is somehow not enough.

But so often, everything is already okay.

God has given me enough for today.

My responsibility is not to manage the world around me. It is to walk humbly, keep my own side of the street clean, tend to what God has entrusted to me, and leave the rest in His hands.

“Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life: You should mind your own business and work with your hands.”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:11

And perhaps even more importantly:

“What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.”
— Micah 6:8

My wish for you, my brothers and sisters, is that we continue finding our way back to God—to humility, simplicity, gratitude, and peace.

Stay inside your hula hoop. Keep your side of the street clean. And let God take care of the rest.