The Exhaustion of Being Right

The age-old temptation is the need to be right—not just in arguments, but in our beliefs, preferences, and how we want others to see the world. It’s not always loud or combative; often it hides in the subtle desire for agreement, validation, or control. Over time, I’ve gradually stepped away from this pursuit, unless the outcome is critical—like the time my daughter wanted to shave her head in high school. (Yes, I stepped in.)

I've also realized that the need to be right shows up in how we judge others. A passing thought when we see someone and think, they’re out of line, or that’s just weird. As if we aren’t odd in our own ways. I mean really—what is normal anyway? We like to think we’re above it all, but deep down, we all carry quirks, struggles, and unseen wounds.

I know God knows we’re different—in every way imaginable. Personalities, backgrounds, opinions, beliefs, and lifestyles. The only true congruency is that we all have souls beneath it all. I believe it’s a divine challenge of compassion and humility to allow people to be as they are. Sure, certain lifestyles or cultures may not resonate with us, but that doesn’t make them wrong. I've met atheists and agnostics throughout my life—people who think and believe differently than I do. I don’t judge them. I simply pray for them—quietly, on my own.

Through experience and grace, I’ve discovered something freeing: being right is exhausting. Whether it’s arguing online, debating at home, or trying to correct someone in public, it’s a hollow victory. Rarely do people say, “You’re right, I’m wrong,” and even more rarely, “Thanks for showing me how foolish I’ve been.” And in those moments when I dig in and try to force the issue, I usually end up angrier than before—and more disconnected.

Ultimately, the obsession with being right is acting in self. It’s ego. It’s thinking. And it quietly pulls us away from God’s grace. God gave us a mind, yes—even opinions—but He never intended for those things to divide us or dominate others. When we insist on being right, we miss the invitation to be kind, to listen, and to love.

Sometimes the most powerful truth we can live out isn’t proving a point—it’s choosing peace.

“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.”
— Matthew 7:1–2 (ESV)