The Obstacle Is the Way is a powerful book by Ryan Holiday that draws on the timeless wisdom of Marcus Aurelius and other Stoic philosophers. At its core, it reminds us that what stands in our way often is the way. The very things we resist—our ego, our emotions, our fear, our made-up persona designed to battle the world—are often the exact things we must confront to grow.
Jordan B. Peterson has expressed similar ideas, especially in 12 Rules for Life and his lectures, where he emphasizes that facing what we fear, confronting our shadow, and entering into the chaos of our suffering is necessary for transformation and meaning. As he puts it:
“The purpose of life is finding the largest burden that you can bear and bearing it.”
— Jordan B. Peterson, 12 Rules for Life
Many of us, myself included, shy away from the problem, the fear, the tension—anything that threatens our comfort or illusion of control. In recovery, particularly in the 4th Step of AA, we’re asked to look inward and examine our resentments and fears to see our part in them. That’s where we begin to uncover our character defects and recognize the unconscious, false self we’ve been living through.
So the question becomes: What are we not facing? What are we clinging to that serves no purpose except to create more anxiety? For me, it’s a false sense of control—the belief that I know better than God. That illusion brings momentary certainty but lasting unrest. The truth is, I control very little. And that realization itself becomes an obstacle: not to be defeated, but to be surrendered to. It’s either have faith, or suffer unnecessarily.
Surrender isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom. It’s laying down the illusion so we can finally walk in truth.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6 (NIV)
Prayer:
Lord, help me face what I’ve been avoiding. Give me the strength to stop clinging to control and the courage to walk through the obstacles You’ve placed in my path—not around them. Show me where I’ve been resisting Your will, and teach me to trust in You more deeply. Strip away the false self I’ve built and replace it with the peace that only surrender can bring. Thank You for using my struggles as a gateway to grace. Amen.
