During my morning prayer and meditation, God placed a simple but deeply challenging notion on my heart: total surrender.
I began to reflect—what does total surrender truly mean? What does it require of me? And is it even possible?
As I sat with these questions, I became aware of the many things I still cling to in my effort to maintain control. There are subtle rituals, bits of superstition, and traces of OCD—not enough to stop me from living, but enough to influence how I live. I still catch myself believing I can shape outcomes, that I have some authority over what will or won’t happen. My attempts to steer the course of my life, even with good intentions, are often just disguised efforts to avoid letting go.
Now, I sense my next phase is this: to completely hand over what was never mine to begin with—including my entire existence. And truthfully, it scares me. What does it say about my faith if I hesitate? Is my faith still shallow?
Lord, lift the weight of trying to hold on to everything. Help me recognize the moments when I’m trying to do Your job. You don’t need my help, nor my permission, to carry me. You are God—I am not.
Teach me the courage of surrender, not as defeat, but as trust in Your perfect love.
I SURRENDER - Hillsong Worship
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
— Proverbs 3:5–6
“Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.”
— Luke 9:23
